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Word Rogues |
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On English and Writing: Leon Lanzbom |
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 instructor: Leon Lanzbom email: lanzbom@yahoo.com On Writing
All writing is a form of prayer. -- John Keats Graduate school: "We must
write for our
audience," says my rhetoric-and-writing professor. "We do not
write for ourselves," he says. On this
point, he is
adamant, a
rock. And on this same point, an ineffable
tumult stirs within me as I sense most writers in
academe submit to this professor's prescription, a prescription I'm not ready to swallow. As a student of the
self-satisfied writers--Faulkner, Didion, White etc.--I learned the writer comes first. Not that writers
shouldn't visualize their readers, but when purpose yields to audience,
words lose their innocence. The
writer holds back, does
not give his or her all, or even worse, gives too much, and that's
dishonest writing.  So what do we do as academic writers? Should we write for ourselves or write for an audience? I'll
admit, I played the game. During my rhetoric-and-writing stint,
I
gave my professor what he wanted. I wrote for him! And my essays were the most
antiseptic, fallow pieces I have ever written. But such is the
nature of academic writing. It marks scholarly
territory, territory devoid of the first person singular, territory that, for the most part, forces the writer to kill, or at least, hide his or
her identity.As someone who cares about writing, I loathe the writing of most rhetoric-and-writing departments. I abhore passive sentences and colorless verbs and narcoleptic nouns. I'm allergic to textbook writing and the convoluted, meandering language of lawyers and literary theorists. Writing is communication, the inside of one person speaking to another person. Writing is not a contest in whose word is bigger! I say that if we satisfy ourselves, an audience will find us. Read the words of Henry David Thoreau or Ernest Hemingway or Sandra Cisneros and you'll find writers who write for themselves yet still speak to the world. But let’s face it, whether you're in English 101 or you write for a national magazine, you do write for some sort of audience--maybe your editor, maybe your readers, maybe your rhetoric-and-writing professor. The Key: Respect the man or woman at the upper end of the keyboard, you! Don't lose who you are. Lose yourself and you lose a unique voice, a voice that will never pass this way again. So let's see what you can do to keep your unique voice, to write for yourself, yet still write for an audience. Show Who You Are
In his book, On Writing Well, William Zinnser posits that the average reader has a twenty to thirty second attention span. He therefore asks that our writing be concise. Concision, Zinnser argues, holds the reader’s attention. To back up his argument, Zinnser shows us William Strunk JR and EB White’s principle of “Omit Needless Words”: "Vigorous writing is concise. A sentence should contain no unnecessary words, a paragraph no unnecessary sentences, for the same  reason that a drawing should have no unnecessary lines and a machine no unnecessary parts. . . .Every word [must] tell." Here’s the best way to make your words “tell”: Write with strong nouns and colorful verbs. Let’s look at an example: Jethro is eating his sandwich. Not a bad sentence, yet it’s generic. It tells us little. It describes a scene, but it doesn’t paint a picture. Now, let's look at what happens when we add some strong nouns and colorful verbs to this sentence: Jethro gobbles his hoagie. Get it? Can you see the difference? The above example goes overboard to make a point: we replaced the passive, "is eating," with the colorful verb, "gobbles," and the all-encompassing noun, "sandwich" with the strong, specific noun, "hoagie." And guess what? We even shortened the original sentence by one word! You see? Vigorous writing is concise! Choices
English allows lots of choices. That's the beauty of English and the
difficulty of writing. Which word should you choose? As the
writer, that's where your unique voice comes in. If, in the  above example, you dislike the word "gobbles," use "munches," "chews," or get rid of the linking verb "is" and use "eats." Notice also, that if you use strong nouns and colorful verbs, you don't need adjectives and adverbs. Your writing becomes more concise, more personal, more you. So get rid of as many adjectives and adverbs as possible and replace them with strong nouns and colorful verbs that paint pictures in the reader's mind. Practice this for your next paper: look for all those passive"to be" verbs (was, were, been, am, are, being, is, be), and see if you can replace each one with a colorful verb. Also, look for dead, all-encompassing nouns, like "car" or "dog," and replace them with words that tell, like Ford and Dachshund. Active and Passive Voice You should write in the active voice to show the world who you are.  Active: Mousecot plays the lute. (Here, Mousecot, the subject, does the action.) Passive: The lute is played by Mousecot. (Here, the lute becomes the subject.) Can you feel how much more direct, lively, and bold the first sentence is? We’re talking about Mousecot here, not the lute. Read it again. Feel it? Write with the active voice, and your words will float above the paper and take on a life of their own. Now, there are plenty of times that the passive voice is the voice of choice, especially in technical writing. But if you keep in mind that most times a sentence paints a word picture about a subject doing something, a living breathing subject, your sentences will magically come to life, like miniature Frankensteins, they'll wreak beautiful mayhem in the reader's mind. Remember, a sentence is a fragile, little creature. You, as a writer, can inject your sentences with life, make them breath and sing, or you can beat the life out of them and make them as boring as a math equation. * Word Rogues' tip: click the picture to discover Mousecot's hero. Freewriting Freewriting is a great way to get started on any paper. Begin with the basic idea or concept of what you want to write about. If you don't have a basic idea, that's ok. An idea will come to you as you freewrite.  Now, set your timer for seven minutes. Some say ten minutes is best. It's up to you. I find that the shorter amount of time doesn't allow too many educated thoughts to invade the intuitive mindset you're about to enter. This excercise is not about what's right. It's about putting your educated mind aside, giving yourself up to the universe, and allowing your cosmic AT&T line to connect with the blank page or screen in front of you. Start your timer and write without stopping for seven minutes. Whether you believe your writing is good or bad, don’t stop. If you run out of thoughts, stay positive. Write “yes” or “a new thought will come in a moment,” or “I can do this.” Repeat until a new thought comes. It will. You must not stop. That is the goal. You are forcing your innate intelligence to override your educated intelligence. You are turning on your creative engine by allowing your intuitive mind to take over. The Academic Essay Though there are many essays forms, we are going to discuss something called the five-paragraph essay. The five-paragraph essay is also known, among other names, as the persuasive or argumentative essay. This essay can be used in many academic situations, and with additions or subtractions, it can be extended to more than five paragraphs or reduced to less than five paragraphs. But we will stick to the standard five paragraphs here. Get this down, and you can base many of your longer or shorter essays on these concepts. One Big Block Each paragraph in the argumentative essay should be a page long--one big-block paragraph. Why a page long? Why a difficult-to-read block of words? Because academe, like any other animal group, marks its territory. In daily life, the average reader will  seldom
encounter this form of writing, these page-long paragraphs, and
academe knows this. Most people outside the ivory tower read
paragraphs surrounded by lots of white space, paragraphs that
breath. But the academic paper discourages white space; it
requires concentration and focus, like this paragraph you're reading right now. In a way, this tradition cuts
out the "civilian” population, says to the world outside of academe
that this style of writing, this huge rectangle of black squiggles,
takes focus and concentration and intelligence to read, and this brand
of writing belongs
to the studied. This style identifies who the scholarly are. Yet
at times, faced with such ponderous paragraphs, we come to understand
Mark Twain's quote: "Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a
relief denied even to prayer." Right
or wrong, we maintain the tradition. |
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| Three Parts to Your Essay | |||||||||||||||
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The essay consists
of three parts: one, the argument or thesis; two, that argument’s three
points of support; and three, the summary, tying it all together,
synthesizing the work and offering your opinion. The Three Parts 1) Introduction: opener and the three points that you will use in the body of your paper (plan of development) and your thesis. Your thesis will be the last sentence of your first paragraph. 2) Body: analysis of the three points that promote your thesis mentioned in the opening. You will offer a one-page paragraph per point. 3) Conclusion: tying your thesis to your argument with an ending that includes your opinion (synthesis). _________________________________ What Your Essay Will Look Like Title Short and sweet. No underline. No Quotes. Your title should summarize your essay in a few words. Paragraph one: The Introductory Paragraph This paragraph is the essay's introductory outline with your thesis as the last sentence. 
In paragraph one, you will offer your opener, your three
major points that support your thesis, listed in the order they will be presented, and your thesis. You want to grab and hold the
reader’s attention in this paragraph. You want them to keep
reading. To capture the reader’s attention, you can offer a
story, a metaphor, a comparison, a straight statement, or even an
overstatement. You need to write something unique. You want to
persuade the reader that this essay is worth his or her time. (Scroll down for more in-depth tips on openers.)(for attention-grabbing ideas, scroll down to "Ways to Introduce Your Essay.") Thesis statement: a one-sentence statement of the central idea of your paper. A good thesis statement does two things: First, it tells a reader the essay’s topic. Second, it presents the writer’s attitude about the topic. Paragraphs two, three, and four: The Supporting Paragraphs Here you put forth your three supporting points, which will be developed, point-by-point, in three separate paragraphs. You offered these three in your first paragraph, and you will discuss these in the order you offered them. Each of the paragraphs begins with the supporting point to be detailed in the paragraph, also called your "topic sentence." Just as the thesis sentence provides a theme for the entire essay, the topic sentence provides a theme for each supporting paragraph. Each paragraph ends with a transitional sentence. You review what you wrote, and you look ahead to your discussion in the next paragraph. Make sure you stay focused and connected to your introduction and your thesis. Paragraph five: Concluding Paragraph Paragraph five--Conclusion/ synthesis: This is your summary, your synthesis, your fin where you will bring it all together. You will restate your thesis but not in the same words you used in your first paragraph, summarize your three supporting points, and finally offer your opinion. Stay on the thesis here, but never word your thesis the same way as in your first paragraph. Be creative. Offer your thesis in different words. This last paragraph will bring your paper full circle. Creativity is most important here. You want your ending to sound graceful and natural, leaving the reader with the thought that he or she has read something unique. ________________________________________________ Introductory Paragraph
The introduction must attract the reader. The plan of development is a list of points that support the thesis. The points are offered in the order they are given. Thesis: the main idea in two parts: topic and your opinion. First Supporting Paragraph
The topic sentence is the first supporting point for your thesis, and the specific evidence delves into you topic sentence. Second Supporting Paragraph
The topic sentence advances the second supporting point for your thesis, and the specific evidence develops that point. Third Supporting Paragraph
The topic sentence advances the third supporting point for your thesis, and the specific evidence develops that point. Concluding Paragraph
A summary is a restatement of the thesis and its main points. A conclusion is a final thought or tow stemming from the subject of the paper. _______________________________________________ Click here for "English Works" five paragraph essay example. Click here for Bertrand Russell's, "Three Passions," another great essay example. ________________________________________________ A Few Thoughts on Where to Take Your Thesis Your opening will be your first paragraph, typically one page long. In this paragraph, you will offer your thesis statement in two parts, telling the reader what your paper will be about (the subject), and what your opinion is on the subject. Do not write your thesis as a question. Write your thesis as a statement, a statement with a question  hidden inside of it. It's this hidden question that sets your argument. You will
then answer your thesis in the paragraphs that follow. What am I talking about? Let’s say you choose the thesis, “In today's youth culture, Ozzy Ozbourne is more musically influential than Beethoven.” The subject here is the music of Ozzy Ozborn; your slant or opinion is Ozborn's music is as influential as Beethoven in today's music market. The question lurking behind this thesis statement is this: “Does Ozzy have more musical influence than Beethoven?” To prove and organize your thesis think about one or more of these key questions: “who,” “how,” “why,” and “what.” You can even toss in “when” and “where” if you want. In our example, “who” is answered already, Ozzy and Beethoven, but now you have “what” (modern rock music; music that is accepted by the masses etc.) “why” (many young adults do not listen to classical) and “how,” (more radio stations for rock music than classical music stations; cd sections in most music stores are larger than cd sections for classical music). You can work with any of these to answer your argument. _______________________________________________ A Bit more on your Thesis Your thesis may not be complete until your paper is done. So during the writing process you compose a “working thesis,” the basic central idea upon which you base your paper. Usually, your actual thesis will come when you’re close to finishing your paper. Near paper’s end, your ideas will be focused, and you will be sure what direction your paper has taken. You can then construct your true thesis. Thesis statement: a one-sentence statement of the central idea of your paper. A good thesis statement does two things: First, it tells a reader the essay’s topic. Second, it presents the writer’s attitude about the topic. Your thesis must be arguable so you cannot have it too personal. Let's say we're talking about a reluctant visitor to Yosemite National Park. A descent working thesis might read something like this: Yosemite is such a beautiful park that it can turn even the most unwilling visitor into a nature enthusiast. Your thesis should come at the end of your first paragraph, but if you have compiled a lot of information, it may come at the end of your second paragraph. A thesis is a one-sentence statement of your central idea. It takes a stand, a side, on an argument or debatable issue. It narrows your topic to a single main idea It states an observation not just a fact. It will be supported in your paper by details and facts You support your thesis by your main pieces of evidence (Major Details). In turn, each piece of evidence is supported by specific or concrete details. Organization is very important here. An outline is mandatory. _____________________________________ Appeals, Logos, Pathos, Ethos (Some points to keep in mind.) Aristotle realized there were three kinds of Appeals in arguments: Logos (logic), appeal to reason; Pathos (compassion, the heart), appeal to emotion; and Ethos (character or ethics), appeal to character (Aristotle's favorite, by the way).  We use these appeals when structuring an argument, yet like a hot spice, we don't use too much of one over the other. For example, we want our essay based in Logos or logic, but too much scientific evidence and common sense logic will cause the reader to fall asleep. So, to shake it up a little, we offer an interesting anecdote to appeal to the heart. If I write that 74% of all hit-and-run accidents are caused by drunken drivers, I appeal to the Logos or reasoning part of the reader (the head, evidence, facts, statistics). But when I add a personal story of an innocent boy who was sitting on his bicycle when a drunken English teacher came careening down the road in a 1984 blue Ford Mustang and hit the boy, never bothering to stop, I will have appealed to the Pathos or the tenderness of the reader (the heart). Ethos is the balance we need to keep things fair, offering both sides of the issue, doing the research needed to show a sense of integrity, veracity, and impartiality. Here, I might tell a little background research on the drunken driver, showing that her first born child passed away, so she turned to drink for relief. When you follow proper MLA format, you're also showing the world your Ethos. You've got character enough to get it right, to cite where needed, to stick to format, so your argument progresses in a logical manner. ________________________________________________  Ways to introduce your essay1. Broad Statement: Using factory work as an example, you might start out by saying the following: Working in a factory might be one of the worst jobs. And then you go into the specific factory that you’re writing about, for example, an egg factory. 2. Contrast: Start with an idea that is the opposite of the one you will develop: working in an office is a nice, clean job. You have comfortable chairs, a desk, a computer, a cup of coffee nearby, but working in a factory does not have the niceties found in an office. 3. Relevance: What makes your topic special? Convince the reader that the topic applies to them or is important. So many of our ancestors, when they first came to this country, found themselves working in factories. 4. Anecdote: An interesting short story that coaxes the reader into the world of your essay. The story should be related to your thesis. I once met a man named Victor who was missing two of his fingers. Victor told me that he lost his fingers because of an accident at work. He caught his hand in the wheels of a conveyor belt at the egg factory where he worked. 5. Quotation: Quote something from your research, or find a dictionary quote that relates to your topic: “Perhaps it seemed to me,” Wrote Henry David Thoreau, “that I had several more lives to live, and could not spare any time for that one” (342). This is how I felt after working in an egg factory for two years. I had other lives to live. I had wasted enough of my life here. ______________________________________ ___________________________ Three Ways to Conclude You Paper using La Jolla Shores (a local beach) as an example.  1. End with a summary or final thoughtLa Jolla Shores, then, is one of the most inviting beaches in San Diego. The beaches there are wider, cleaner, and safer. It is not surprising that a growing number of San Diegans are traveling to La Jolla Shores to experience this great beach. 2. A thought provoking question Appeal to the reader that your subject is bigger than your essay. Comment on any one of these: The future Which choice should be made Why is your subject important Wouldn’t La Jolla Shores be the beach of choice for anyone who wants to experience an enjoyable day by the ocean? 3. A prediction or recommendation Even with its growing popularity, La Jolla Shores will always be the most pleasant beach experiences San Diego has to offer. ____________________________________________ ____________________________________________ Four Steps You Must Have in Your Essay Unity Make one point and stick to that point 1. Is there a clear thesis statement? 2. Is all the material on target in support of your thesis?  SupportBack up your three supporting points with specific evidence. 1. Do you offer specific evidence to back up your topic sentences (supporting points) of each paragraph? 2. Is there enough specific evidence to convince the reader? Coherence If you organize and connect your specific evidence 1. Does your paper have a clear method of organization? 2. Are transitions and other connecting words and connecting sentences used to tie your material together? Sentence Skills Write clear, error free sentences. Checklist of Sentence Skills Fragments Run-ons Correct verb form Subject-verb agreement Faulty parallelism Capital letters used correctly Punctuation marks where needed Apostrophe Quotation marks Commas Semicolons Correct paper format Needless words eliminated Spelling errors Varied sentences Careful proofreading *borrowed from Langan. The Compare and Contrast Essay First, let’s explain compare and contrast: When we compare, we show our readers a subject's similarities. When we contrast, we show our readers a subject's differences. Compare and Contrast essays are learning-process essays. You learn about your subject as you gather and organize information. This type of essay takes a bit of organization, and it's this organizational process, this gathering of facts that helps you learn as you go. You will create lists of qualities or traits that each of your subjects have, and as you do this, you will discover insights to your subject that, at first glance, you may not have realized were there. It’s like buying a new shirt. The moment you spread it out on your bed, you start seeing things you hadn't noticed in the store. Perhaps a button is lose, or the pocket is torn, or it's three sizes too big. But there's more! As an intelligent, probing writer you're going to ask questions of this shirt: why, what, where, when, how, who. Why are buttons on the collar? What other type of shirt does this shirt remind you of? Where was it made? When was it made? How did it get to your store and into your hands? Who made it? The questions are endless. But you must ask them to understand your subject. Why, what, where, when, how, who, these questions will allow you to probe into the core and the reason this shirt exists. The same type of probing and uncovering will happen to you as you outline your subject's qualities. You’ll discover all sorts of new things as you ask why, what, where, when, how, who, and as you uncover these new points, your essay will change. In the end, most essays end up far different than expected. Your Thesis You will offer a thesis, like in an argumentative essay, but in this essay, your thesis sets the tone of your paper. In other words, through your thesis, you want the reader to understand what you plan to compare.  Keep
it simple: Your thesis will be one or two sentences on what you want to
offer, and if you’re comparing, contrasting, or doing both (see the
next section)Getting Started If possible, find an interesting subject about which you can write. This is important because your enthusiasm will bleed into your work. This essay calls for an outline list: you are going to list the qualities of both subjects, qualities that can be compared, contrasted, or shared. For example: let's say your comparing and contrasting surfing to snowboarding. Your first job is to list the qualities of each subject. From these qualities and your insight, you can then develop your thesis.
A thesis for the qualities above might read: Though surfing and snowboarding are done in different seasons, these sports are far more similar than different. Of course, the list above is incomplete. You keep listing qualities until you believe you have enough information to write a valid essay. A list of five to ten qualities works well for the average paper. But you may have to list twenty qualities to get five that will work for you. When listing, it is good to overdo it; this way, when you're ready to write your paper, you can weed out the qualities that won't work and pick the best of the bunch. Three Parts Opening: You will begin your essay, introducing the subjects you plan to compare and contrast and ending your fist paragraph with your thesis. Body: Paragraph by paragraph, offer one subject quality at a time. Ending: As in the argumentative essay, bring it all together. Go back to your thesis Remember: There are no hard and fast rules as to how many comparisons or contrasts you should offer. For a thorough look into your subject, you must offer enough comparisons or contrasts or both to make a valid statement. More on Compare and Contrast Essays Click here for the University of Washington's Political Science Writing Center Click here for the Harvard University Writing Center Click here for the Purdue's Online Writing Lab (OWL) Mechanics Sentence to Sentence  Imagine each of your sentences as links of a chain. The end link
of your sentence should connect with the beginning link of your next
sentence. This way your sentences flow. With flow, your
writing will hold the reader’s attention. (look at how I
connected the previous four sentences.) You must therefore try to
place what you believe to be the emphatic point of a sentence at the
end of the sentence, and connect that emphasis with the beginning of
the next sentence. It’s as if you are connecting a long chain of
ideas. These ideas are like links connected to the one before and
the one after. Because of her vocal range, Laura the parrot is a tenor. Laura the parrot is a tenor because of her vocal range. Do you see how the same info can take you to different places, depending on where you place your emphasis? So remember, the part of the sentence that you want to most emphasize should be at the end. Keep Related Words Together Lalani saw Tommy Tune walking down Broadway while in a cab. *Confused? Who was walking and who was in a cab? While in a cab, Lalani saw Tommy Tune walking down Broadway. *Here, we've removed the ambiguity by keeping the related words together. Use the Active Voice (redux) Passive: My first rotisserie chicken will always be remembered by me. Active: I will always remember my first rotisserie chicken. The second sentence is more direct. It lets us know that there is a human being, an “I,” a living, breathing creature behind these words. Use Positive Form Rombom is not on time. *The word "not" is weak and paints a negative picture in the reader's mind. Rambom is late. *Here, you've committed; you're definite.  Paragraph to Paragraph Connection The beginning of each paragraph should be connected to the theme of the previous paragraph. Lead with a strong opening sentence, and lead the reader into the theme of your new paragraph. Do not be afraid to open your paragraph with the word “but." But use the word sparingly. Too much of a good thing will bore a reader to sleep. Transitional Words (Conjunctival Adverbs) Use these words to help you connect your thoughts, your sentences, and your paragraphs: (Lest you wish to sound pedantic, tiptoe with caution through words such as "indeed," and "of course.") addition again, also, and, and then, besides, equally important, finally, first, further, furthermore, in addition, in the first place, last, moreover, next, second, still, too comparison also, in the same way, likewise, similarly concession granted, naturally, of course contrast although, and yet, at the same time, but at the same time, despite that, even so, even though, for all that, however, in contrast, in spite of, instead, nevertheless, notwithstanding, on the contrary, on the other hand, otherwise, regardless, still, though, yet emphasis certainly, indeed, in fact, of course example or illustration after all, as an illustration, even, for example, for instance, in conclusion, indeed, in fact, in other words, in short, it is true, of course, namely, specifically, that is, to illustrate, thus, truly summary all in all, altogether, as has been said, finally, in brief, in conclusion, in other words, in particular, in short, in simpler terms, in summary, on the whole, that is, therefore, to put it differently, to summarize time sequence after a while, afterward, again, also, and then, as long as, at last, at length, at that time, before, besides, earlier, eventually, finally, formerly, further, furthermore, in addition, in the first place, in the past, last, lately, meanwhile, moreover, next, now, presently, second, shortly, simultaneously, since, so far, soon, still, subsequently, then, thereafter, too, until, until now, when Quotations Use a colon when a quote is introduced by an independent clause: Judith Ortiz Cofer tells us: “It was as if the heart of the city map were being gradually colored in brown—café- con-leche brown. Our color" (156). A comma follows when the quote is melded into the sentence: When asked what writing forms she uses, Amy tan says, “I use them all---all the Englishes I grew up with” (38). Use no punctuation with the word “that”: Comparing our minds to the ocean, Steven Kings says that “I think that our minds are the same nutrient bath all the way down to the bottom, and different things live at different levels" (20). Quotes can be placed at different parts of your sentences. This operandi adds variety to your writing. Beginning “I preferred, much preferred, my version,” Maya Angelou writes in “The Angel of the candy counter" (153). Middle Bell hooks tells the reader that “As I wrote, I felt that I was not concerned with accuracy of detail as I was with evoking in writing a state of mind, the spirit of a particular moment”(164)—a good lesson for all writers of autobiography. End In “Judgment of the Birds,” Loren Eiseley explains: “It is commonplace of all religious thought, even the most primitive, that the man seeking visions and insight must go apart from his fellows and live for a time in the wilderness" (105). Long Quotations Place quotations longer than four typed lines in a free-standing block of typewritten lines, and omit quotation marks. Start the quotation on a new line, indented one inch from the left margin, and maintain double-spacing. Your parenthetical citation should come after the closing punctuation mark. When quoting verse, maintain original line breaks. (You should maintain double-spacing throughout your essay.) Click here for the OWL Online Writing Lab's example of a long quote. Scroll down a bit, and you'll find it. |
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| Links for Writers | |||||||||||||||||||||
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Feeling trapped? Not sure where to turn?  Time to ride the leo! We offer you here a few portals to some choice writing sites. Scroll down and you'll find a mess 'o links to almost anything you can dream of--that has to do with academic writing, of course.
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